I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
