I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Randomize