this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
