I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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