I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
We need a shit load of segways right now
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Randomize
