I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
