hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
