He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Found the puke drawer
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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