Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
