I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
