He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
