Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
