the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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