Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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