I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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