I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Randomize
