i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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