Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
It's just like the Real World with babies
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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