Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
