Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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