a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
