How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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