I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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