She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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