You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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