Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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