I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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