I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize