why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
