he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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