I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
That was before I lit my hair on fire
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
