just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
