I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
