He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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