shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
