how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
you traded sex for a burrito?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
