So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize