I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
