I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
BRING THE BAGELS
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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