Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize