i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
