I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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