Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
