Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I want her autograph on my taint
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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