If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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