I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
