i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
