Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize