my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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