i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
