i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
