Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
