The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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