so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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