I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
