One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize