I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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