Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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