I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
