Welp...herpes.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
