She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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