dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
