i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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