i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
