My friends, they love my intelligence
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
