before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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