you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
