no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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