I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
