ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Randomize
