The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Do vagina's smell?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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