You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
