I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
