I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
