I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Let's get the cat blown out
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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