ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just gift wrapped bread.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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